I’m bored of life and where it’s not taking me.
— Blue Laidley
Falling in love isn’t for everyone. It definitely isn’t for the weak.
I miss the times when I was young, naive, and generally believed I was beautiful.
— Blue Laidley
As my mind slowly erases you from it, every image of you buried deep becomes just a blurred silhouette. I’m losing the ability to cope with this. It was something I planned and something I wanted yet now it’s happening, I feel almost like it’s something I can’t control. Like it’s something I want to control. I want to remember. I’m losing things I want to remember. People forget the good and remember the bad, and I forgot about the good but I can remember it now. I want to remember both. I want to remember both, yet I am loosing everything. Everywhere we ate, every single place we went together, even the tiny mole under your chin. Wait, what mole? Did I just make that up? I don’t remember.
Every image of you is becoming a blurred silhouette, I just didn’t realise that I’m blurring myself also; every memory I’m losing is a memory I’m losing of myself. I’m fading with you. Both, soon enough, we will become nothing more than nothing.
Someone asked me if I do drugs… and no I don’t. I just do cocaine.
This is around the time I went under
The feeling of sinking down to the darkest of blues
The claustrophobic feeling of not being able to breathe
Whilst my body kept bringing me lower and lower
My eyesight was searching for light but failing and their function started to differ.
This was the time I needed to think
I needed to think clear and I needed to breathe
To free this guidance and create my fins
Why wait to live, when you can live.
I lost my virginity the sensible way: breaking it at 18 years old with a person I was in a two year relationship with at the time. But sometimes I just wish I broke it the spontaneous way when I had the chance: in a Jacuzzi on the roof of a lavish hotel in Miami which was across the road from and overlooked South Beach, to a guy named Jason who I instantly had a sexual desire for after meeting him for 15 minutes; 3 days before my 16th birthday.
Today I found out a few things. I knew the “things” all along to be honest, I just hid them away with denial and hope. But hope never lasts and fades quicker than the rain dries, so I guess I was stupid for pretending I was stupid in not knowing. But I know now. It’s confirm. The ashes have burned, the graves have turned, and “hopefully” my lesson is learned.
Anna Blume is a visual poetry about the lust of a man chasing a woman. The story takes on surreal journey dictated by the mind of the poet. Lust and ingestion, disguised in love, drive the two characters to an end where love turns to be a very lonesome and strange place. The film is based on and inspired by the emblematic love poem from 1919 “An Anna Blume” by Kurt Schwitters.